This Was A Triumph

Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided Enrichment Center. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from– dHJ5aW5nIHRvIGRlY29kZSB0aGlzIHRleHQu

The Enrichment Center is pleased that you have decided to take part in The Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube Creation Tour. The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. If you become light-headed from thirst, feel free to pass out, or assume the party escort submission position. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the tour proper.

While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Depth Printer, seen to the right of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities, such as vaporisation. Please be careful.
3D printer with the door open

The Aperture Science High Depth Printer will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in Three…
The 3D printer printing the raft for the cube to print on

The bottom layers of the cube being printed

A few more layers of the cube printed

Surprise. I made it all up. Not about waiting for the Weighted Companion Cube, though. That really is happening. It’s that you were here on a tour. If I were you, I would get ready to begin the test. It was the agreement in that phone book of a contract you signed.
More of the cube printed, showing the heart

This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber. Please take care of it.
The finished printed cube

Please place the Weighted Companion Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button to begin cube- and button-based testing. Oh, the button’s not there. I guess somebody’s going to have to make that too. No, don’t get up. I’ll be right back. Don’t touch anything.

Enjoy this next test. I’m going to go to the surface. It’s a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a squirrel. If you solve this next test, maybe I’ll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I’ll tell you about the time I saw a squirrel again.
The Weighted Companion Cube pressing on the button

Not bad. I didn’t know how good you would be at this. You should pace yourself, though. We have A LOT of tests to do. I hope you really, really love to test.

A squirrel sitting on a piece of wood
I told you I saw a deer squirrel

Note: If you haven’t already guessed it, I’m a big fan of Portal, as well as the sequel. Plus there’s additional stuff too.

Also, if you managed to watch the Crystal Maze one off, with Stephen Merchant being the Maze Master guiding the players around a maze of rooms with puzzles in them, it felt like being in Portal 2 but real life. I hope they bring that series back, too.

The resources I used to create these models are: Companion Cube, 1500 Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button

Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity.


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